The Good, The Bad, And The Really, Really Shitty. [Pt. I]

Until recently, I had been feeling quite apathetic toward the music world. Once my dearest love, it had fallen to the wayside in the last several years, replaced with movies, jobs, masturbation and what have you. I must credit my friend and Three Minute Record blogmate in assisting in the re-ignition of my dying flame, as I have recently come soaring back to the world of music and all the treasures it has to offer.

Unfortunately, there are way more turds than golden nuggets (unless you count corn niblets) and it's taken great patience to weed out those unworthy of mine, or for that matter, anyone else's time as well. Over and over again I have encountered bands/musicians touted as the next best thing or that they were the best thing. Hardee har. As for the hunt of new tunes, I don't hesitate to say that for every one quality band/performer I encountered, there were seven to ten acts so stinky, it makes my ass smell sweeter.

Traversing magazine after magazine, and music site after music site, mainstream and underground alike, it's not to hard to place your finger on the pulse of the music world today, though, admittedly, it's different for everyone. I wanted to enlighten the world about what musical acts I considered decent and intelligent and the list presented here is my conception of that. This is most certainly not an all-encompassing list, but more like a list of music that has either struck a chord with me or took a shit in my ears. It should be apparent that I'm not including many genres and their sub-categories and so on, but like I said, this is by no means a universal listing. More like a starting point if you're wanting to discover some new bands or avoid bad ones like the plague. Some of those listed are already famous and for that I have no other excuse other than that I just enjoy raving on about those I despise.

Not every band/performer listed is new, per se, but have been currently active or have recently released musical work of some kind. Everyone one the list has produced some body of work in the pat few years. As far as the order goes, it's in no particular order, with the exception of the first few on each list, as those bands hold the honor of catching my fancy much more significantly than others, or in the case of the bottom half of the list, raising my ire like no other.

Obviously, this is one man's opinion. I hope I encourage debate or aggressive argument in posting this list. However, I doubt it, as the Second Perspective's fan list is quite short.

I have to immediately apologize to any friends who would disagree with me. Most assuredly, I would disagree with them as well.

The Good Stuff

Why?- These guys can and have been under-appreciated but it's time for that to stop. Lead singer (or lyricist if you prefer) Yoni Wolf and company have put together a masterpiece on their latest album, Alopecia. Low-key, but catchy and atmospheric music provides an excellent landscape for Mr. Wolf to paint his pictures with his clever rhymes and rants such as "I sleep on my back/cuz' it's good for the spine/and coffin rehearsal." It's moments like these that you can identify with, the sadness mixed with humoring smart-assness.

Man Man- I could go on and on about these guys. I've heard their live shows are what helped make them, and after YouTubing some of their performances, it's easy to see this is probably true. To sum them up succinctly: Man Man could be the mutinous crew of a pirate ship with Nick Cave as the captain and Tom Waits as first mate. If that doesn't pique your interest, well, you probably lack imagination.



Bon Iver- Simply one of the most haunting solo acts I've heard. Every song will crush your heart with its dire sadness and utter despair. And to think Justin Vernon did all this all his lonesome, in the bitter comfort of a cold Wisconsin forest.

The Cave Singers- Folk music with heart and catchy sensibility. Weirdly enough, this band emerged from the now defunct Pretty Girls Make Graves. If that's what it took to create this band then let's thank the god of indie music for allowing PGMG to die.

The Black Ghosts- Two rad dudes from England are making some of the poppiest and soulful (eww, I hate that word as much as you do) electronic music around. Don't let the "soulful" part fool you though. You can dance if you want too, but you can also still hear great melodies not robbed from the trains of previous acts.

Adam Green- The other, and way-better half of Moldy Peaches. Green is much more preferable and enjoyable than his counterpart Kimya Dawson, from Juno fame, who seems to find pleasure in making goofy children's songs. What's the most appreciated aspect of Green's work? Other than his 2002 album Garfield, not one of his songs are over 2 and a half minutes, with only a handful nearing the 3 minute mark. Please, for Juno 2, (nooooo!) let's see what Green can do.

The Dodos- Wow. A tw0-man group NOT doing some version of the blues. Is this legal? Of course, technically, the White Stripes have eschewed the bluesy sort of music as well. Of course, technically, the White Stripes suck.

Foals- Fun Brits make pop, with nice little oddities thrown in for good measure. All of their songs from Antidotes are good enough to make you play with yourself. Why do you think I enjoy listening to them?

Jay Reatard- Is it Reatard, as in retard, you think, or more French sounding, like re-uh-ta-ard? Either way this fella from Tennessee kicks ass. Since most punk bands suck now, and officially, aren't even punk, Reatard is a welcome breath of fresh air. Quick and to the point, he is, which is very similar to how one would enjoy sex with a minotaur.

Lykke Li- See the Shit List below for my small rant of ordinary, everyday women singer/songwriters and how wretched I find them to be. A striking opposition to these feelings are the ones I have developed for Lykke Li. If for every rough there's a diamond, this gal is as polished and pretty a diamond as you are likely to witness. Mixing some electronic blips with her smooth as hell voice and devastatingly elegant and touching melodies, Lykke Li can make you cry like a little titty-baby. Trust me, I know. Check out: Everybody But Me and Little Bit from Youth Novels.



Silver Jews- There are still a few good alt-country-ish bands out there, but it just so happens that Silver Jews are the cream of the crop. Now that Ryan Adams has fallen off his rocker, and Wilco can's Yankee Hotel Foxtrot as well as they once could, the torchbearers for tears falling in beers has been placed in the Jews' lap.

Small Sins- Nothing to get too worked up over here. Small Sins have developed some catchy and slightly dramatic tunes, though nothing out of the ordinary pops up. Some songs, such as Prove Me Wrong are downright creepy though, perfect for dark moods and darker thoughts.

Vetiver- Just as good, but probably better, than his labelmate co-captain Devendra Banhart. And without all this foolishness about crabs, birds, monkeys, et cetera. Though who doesn't enjoy some tasty crabs on their little monkeys?

Windmill- To be fair, many could find lead singer Matthew Thomas Dillon's vocals quite maddening. They are on frequency level of a very high nature. Fortunately, his songs are soaked with heart that bleed with considerable longing, propped up by catchy-as-hell melodies. Fluorescent Lights, a song from Puddle City Racing Lights wistfully draws up images of people, places, memories and things you love, will always love, and an understand that you can't get a way from them. But what if you want to escape the memory of getting a bathroom blowjob from the sloppy-joe lady in high school? Well...you're fucked.

Genghis Tron- While everything else on the list has mostly been centered in the broad category of pop, though a few delve from this, Genghis Tron is located smack dab in the metal section. While there are certainly several worthy metal bands currently, Genghis Tron have mixed heavy riffs and bloody vocals with electronic experimentation to the right degree. Certainly not your run-of-the-mill metal up your ass! (Bonus points earned for one of the coolest names of this century)



The Shit List

The Hold Steady- I guess their music is okay, if not a little generic at times. However, Craig Finn's vocals sound like horseshit, and the very thought of them severely grates my nerves. Calling them cheesy (and annoying) would only be an insult to dairy products. (Yes, I stole that last insult). But really, what's with all the praise? You'd think they were the new Radiohead or Beck the way some fools make such a fuss about them. Don't you just love the cliche, Bruce Springsteen thing going on too? Maybe, a more appropriate moniker would have been the Mini-Bosses? Well, okay. The Shitty-Bosses.


Albert Hammond, Jr.- Uh, stick to the Stokes dude. No. Really.

Uh Huh Her- Great. Another duo of chicks singing to damningly cookie-cutter, electro-dance, groove beats. It's not that their just awful, it's just that it's so goddamn boring. And, to the dismay of some, their not even lesbos. By the way, that's a real deep P.J. Harvey nod with the name. Like, sooooo deep!

Coldplay- Some say their newest album Viva la Vida sounds like the Coldplay we all know and love. Some say it's a new direction for the band. I say it sucks.

My Morning Jacket- This native band of Louisville, at one time, pumped out excellent tunes of lonesome despair and small-town emotions. Now they insist on feeding us overstuffed, half-baked jams accompanied with their worthless imitations of "soul" music. This is what happens when you let undeserving praise from the likes of Rolling Stone and Spin Magazine fill your head with dreams of saving the music world. You become bloated and obsolete, albeit unknowingly, because retarded fans still buy your rotten albums. Though it's lame as hell and uber-generic, I'm sure hardcore MMJ diehards posit this album to be the second coming. If you're referring to the second coming of the food in my stomach, sirs, you are absolutely correct.

My Brightest Diamond- Actually, you could throw in any number of Tori Amos wannabes here. I just picked this little lady out because, well, she's one you encounter often when perusing the current music scene, or maybe because she's the first one I thought of. Who cares or knows. Is this crap supposed to evoke some type of emotion in me? Are these overly dramatic croonings meant to make me swoon in the arms of a lover or choke up on thoughts of a long, lost love? You'll get more heartbroken by drinking a bottle of Beam's Eight Star and then smashing the bottle over your own head. And if you enjoy this pap, you should smash something much more life-threatening over your head. Please. Other copycats and piano-driven drivel: Joan as Police Woman, Sam Phillips, and Jessie Baylin. Avoid at all costs, unless you're an angsty, bitchy teenage girl who enjoys cutting themselves for attention. Or for fun.

The Futureheads - Uh, is any song different than the last? Good god, kill these insipid bitches.

Sounds Like Violence- Music can't get any dumber than this. Sounds Like Violence? Sounds more like dead hookers stuffed with rotten eggs. Wait a second. Let me think about that last statement. Mmmmmmm.......delish!

Circuits- Too close in similarity to one of the worse bands of all time, Cage the Elephant. It's likely that you haven't heard of Cage the Elephant and if this is just world, which it's probably not, you never will. Don't you just love shitty Americans who add English drawls to their shitty voices and mix it with their version of shitty white-boy funk? Oh, wait. Seems they are British. And it seems they still suck something awful.

Van Tramp- In all of my recent findings, no band has made me gag and puke, not unlike Carnie Wilson at a Ryan's Steakhouse buffet, than this silly excuse for a band. Basically, if you enjoy horribly generic, contemporary Christian rock, you will like this band. Hell, if you're that bananas, you'll love these pathetic whores. If God's responsible for this mess, then I'm personally pole-axing his dumb kid, JC, when he comes back for a second go-round. Amen.

R.E.M.- Question: Does anyone give two greasy shits about what Mikey Stipe, the poor man's Bono, has to say? I doubt it. To further comparisons of lameness, R.E.M. even worked with Jacknife Lee, a former U2 associate. Thanks to their new album, Accelerate, which is shockingly receiving critical merit, we can all enjoy 11 new tracks of complete mediocrity from a band who has made a career on peddling complete mediocrity.

























That's it for now folks. There's plenty more I'd like to applaud and plenty more I'd like to condemn, so tune in later for some more down and dirty insight!